I am constantly afraid of doing the work.
Not just any work. The real real work. The work that we hope no one finds out we need.
Yeah, that work is terrifying…AND rewarding!
In high school, I really wanted to try Dungeons & Dragons. Some people in school were talking about it and it sounded so cool.
I asked some questions to learn more about it. I was getting ready to ask if I could play. Then, they talked about the role-playing aspect.
The fear hit immediately.
“Acting?! Improv?! Oh no! What if I sound stupid? What if I make a mistake and ruin the game? What if I’m lame? What if I’m horrible at it? What if they regret inviting me?”
I didn’t ask about it again. The fear won. I didn’t tell others about it, because the fear was embarrassing.
I was a teen so that makes sense right? Until it happened again in my 20s.
Something about it felt so vulnerable. I was convinced I would do a bad job and my friends wouldn’t want me around. The fear felt exactly the same as it did in the high school hallway.
At 35, I started therapy for anxiety. (which I was also scared to do.) I learned a lot about my fear. How to exist with it. What triggers it. How to have a conversation with it. How to say “thanks but no thanks” to it.
Later that year, a friend talked about how they were playing Dungeons & Dragons. Without a pause I said “Oooh! I wanna do that. Can we put a game together?”
That fear showed up but I transformed it to excitement. I was so excited to play.
That first session not only did my character Bree Meadowlake level up, I did too.
I learned how fun play can be. I learned how free being vulnerable and open can be. I learned how awesome it is to be with my village in that way.
I’m wrapping up my 3rd campaign, have launched a coaching program inspired by D&D, and have been on several podcasts talking about the power of TTRPGs for personal growth.
I did the work, and oh wow did it change my life for the better.
You are ready to face your Fear Dragon.